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This exercise is a way to practice creatively being in an assertive state and a submissive state. It relates to our desire for power—to hold power, to give it away, to share it, etc. We have been culturally influenced to give away our power to someone we perceive to be more beautiful, someone larger than we are, someone older than we are. Traditional porn emphasizes this type of power exchange. The man with the bigger cock gets to fuck. The “daddy” demands respect from the “son,” with or without earning it. We are used to giving away our power by being dominated by force—who can force the other into submission. This is actually only one version of masculine power.
In this exercise we explore submission to the sheer will of another man. For the one being witnessed, it is not the dominant man’s physical force that brings us into submission. Rather, it is our DESIRE to please, to be seen and to serve. For the one who is witnessing and “willing” the other to obey, it is a practice of asserting what he wants and holding a space of dominance that is irrespective of social status, body size, cock size, typical sex roles, etc. It is practicing speaking wishes into existence.
For the sub, any request that the witness makes, you are to comply, unless it violates a necessary internal boundary. Maintaining a truthful commitment to self makes submission that much more sweet, because it strengthens self-esteem to maintain boundaries. Otherwise, let go and be SEEN!
The game can really go anywhere, and that’s what’s so exciting about it. It automatically slows down the whole process of connection and lets the space of desire, of wanting, of power dynamics to emerge in an authentic way between both men.
This concept was developed by Finn Deerhart: http://www.finndeerhart.com
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