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The Reveal

Added: August 6, 2018 | Runtime: 12:19

Watch Davey and friends discuss The Reveal on Himeros LIVE, our weekly podcast.

Discover why Davey created The Reveal on the Himeros.tv blog.

This is a pre-sex ritual designed to enhance the emotional fueling of desire by sharing small personally vulnerable revelations.

It is scalable, because it can be done with a playful casual sex buddy or even with our deepest partners. The scalability would be experienced in the level of vulnerability being revealed. Obviously, in a casual sex situation, one may not divulge his deepest fear or insecurity, but would still have plenty to offer the moment.

The important lesson that this game teaches is that being emotionally transparent greatly enhances the sexual experience and can act as an aphrodisiac, if we allow space for it. In sex, we have often been conditioned to bring only parts of ourselves to certain men or parts of ourselves to sex, itself. We often rely on what “works,” what feels safe, and what makes us feel like rock stars. There are so many other parts of ourselves that we tend to hide because we fear the risk of being vulnerable. Traditional porn has shown us that sex is largely an emotionless event, but this is contrary to the truth of how our species engages with sex. Much research in sex therapy shows that making sex “meaningless” in our minds actually involves a great deal of emotion needed to create the perceived separation between the physical and the emotional. Actually, even casual sex can be highly emotional and will benefit from this game. This exercise helps us bring more unexpressed parts of ourselves that are in the shadows into the sexual space. This helps us align our physical desire with our actual emotional states in the moment of erotic encounter, and heat rises as a result.

Both men begin by facing each other. Make it seem like a very relaxing thing to be emotionally transparent by adopting a posture that mimics how one might lay with a high school best friend, sharing secrets, giggling, and feeling like this other person understands and matters so much! Start by lying several feet apart from each other. Begin with eye contact and breathing. Make an agreement with each other that it is a safe space to share what’s really going on beneath the surface. Watch each other’s bellies rise and fall. Feel the sexual tension and relish the anticipation of the physical body, the moment of contact with this beautiful man. Each man then takes a turn sharing a vulnerability felt in the moment and a subsequent inching towards each other with every turn.

The game should make space for both negatively and positively associated emotions. For example, one could reveal a bit of nervousness, maybe a pressure to perform, maybe an assumption that one has in his mind about the other guy, a fear, an emotion that one fears to feel like anxiety, sadness, etc. Some examples of revelations from negatively associated states:

“I think that you are so fucking hot that it makes me nervous to have sex with you. I want to please you so bad!”

“When you cruised me, I was so shocked. I had been thinking all night that you were never gonna respond to me. Lying here with you, it’s like a dream come true!”

“I have been wanting to fuck you for days. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s kinda made me angry to have to wait so long to get inside you. I’m gonna let you feel that."

Even positive emotions that we sometimes suppress because of fear of being “too much” can be highly vulnerable to both fully feel and to share. This could go something like:

“I’m so excited to have sex with you. When you fuck me, I feel so alive in a way that I don’t know how to feel any other way…”

This could be a vulnerable share, because we often feel shame for loving sex so much, since our culture taught us to deny it and only have it when absolutely necessary.

Another possibility:

“I’ve been looking forward to this moment all day. I’ve been fantasizing about your how your ass tastes. I just can’t keep my mind off of it.”

Again, we often hold this type of share back until we are really really turned on and our inhibitions are down, but if we can bring them into the sexual field before we even begin touching, we are fueling the erotic space with TRUTH, the ultimate turn-on! Bringing in the extra emotional realities that both partners are secretly feeling can make for explosive sexual encounters!

Both partners take turns going back and forth. One man shares his truth followed by a deep breath and big exhale. He then scoots a few inches towards his partner. Then the other man takes his turn, following suit. The game resolves itself when both partners are physically touching each other and each’s secret emotions have then been brought into an embodied sexy encounter. This is highly symbolic because distance is often created by secrecy, and closeness flourishes in an open container. Continue touching and making love with intention to keep the vulnerability alive. Let your body express with the same level of revelation and delight!

This concept was created by Finn Deerhart: http://finndeerhart.com/

Recent Comments:
Absolutely beautiful! Very Sexy, Sensual and so true! One of the best videos to date.
I loved this video. So sensual, real, and sexy.
Great! There are so many layers to this and ways we can go even deeper - yummy! Vulnerability is not just scary, it's sexy and fun, and hot, and empowering!
Truly amazing! I'm so turned on. It's time to wake my sleeping husband and make love with him!
I love the entire film due to the vulnerability of two guys who want each other so badly and want the meaningful experience to be the best that it can be. I love having the guys sitting facing each other naked but so in want of each other....eyes traveling up and down, quiet and beautiful speaking to each other sharing those inner feelings and yet so in-tuned to each other's beautiful being. Then to lean forward and beginning to experience sexual attraction in such a hot manner. I only pre-cum when I am turned on and all through the scene, I was leaking with both of them. Wow. Truly a video I will watch many times in the future.
wTF is the link to save? lol!
I joined this site about a month ago. I have previewed over 70 films. Now I am returning to my favorites. This has got to be one of my all time favorites. It is slow, erotic, romantic, loving, tender, hot. Thank you Davey for this amazing web-site.
Davey Wavey
You are very welcome!
I can only imagine what it's like to film these and be present at those intimate moments of complete surrender- the moment of orgasm, where it's out of your hands and you cum. There are no words. The last time I was lucky enough to suck dick I let him finish in my mouth and across my face, It made me cum at the same time. I felt so surrendered, and humbled and lucky. The complete experience of feelings is something magical. The subtle yet distinct taste, the smell, the way it fills your space with a warm, wet feeling and the feeling of surrender. I can only imagine what it's like to witness that while filming it, or be filmed while kneeling or squatting and getting cummed on. I find it so erotic.
I really liked the video, but the sound between5m37s até 10m56 is just terrible, it's very annoying, I had to mute it. It should leave the real sound of the scene.
Now this brings back a ton of memories for me. My first time was a very intense introduction to a same-sex erotic experience. It played out exactly as depicted in this video.We were young and we were in no hurry. Pressing each other's naked bodies together, feeling every part of his body with my own. And, feeling his erect penis pressing into mine. Damn! that was fun.