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Elements of Desire: Love

Added: October 14, 2019 | Runtime: 10:18 | 20,872 views

Today, we're excited to bring the first of the four Elements of Desire: Love.

According to sex and intimacy coach Finn Deerhart, creator of the Elements of Desire:

At times, we may move into our heads during sex, away from our bodies. In these moments, in order to continue, we depend on fantasies, outside validation, programmed images of sexiness, objectification, and goal oriented sex.

Male sexuality is often reduced and over simplified as a biological imperative to spread seed or to “get off.” This explanation does not acknowledge the relational components that are, the foundation, the underlying motivators for sex. The very nature of gay sex is antithetical to the biological model alone, because it is rooted in identity, a social construct. At the same time, as men, we often lack a vocabulary to describe our experiences of ourselves emotionally, sexually, and otherwise.

We may lean into routines, our “winning formulas,” compartmentalization, or even blaming our partners for a sense of boredom that we encounter. We may think that great sex is circumstantial-- and ideal body, an exciting setting, a fantasy realized. This all feels really great! It’s still sex. But it’s limiting sex. When we begin to let go of our conditioned templates, we access our innate senses of Eroticism. To begin this process, we notice inhibitions and consciously investigate them as routes to healing, and ultimately, ecstasy.

In our imaginations, sex and intimacy are often separate. However, sex, itself, is one of the most intimate expressions of our humanity--whether with a life partner, a total stranger, or anyone in between. The division that we perceive between intimacy and sex is not as much in what we do, as it is in how we imagine what we are doing.

In the Elements of Desire, each Element emphasizes a specific set of skills that build upon each other and can be experienced in layers. These skills are useful in creating an interpretive framework around what sex means to us, personally. Think of practicing these Elements like playing scales so that you can then play chords, so that you can compose beautiful music that emanates from the core of your being.

Concept created by Finn Deerhart: http://www.finndeerhart.com

Read about it on the Blog
Recent Comments:
So tender, so loving, so together....
Most sensual and very arousing. Looking forward to the continuation of this series/
Davey Wavey
Glad you enjoyed it! Every few months, we'll share a new "element" of desire until the series concludes. Still to come are luxury, license and lust.
It's so beautiful, thanks for making my day... now do you have plans to film a prequel or sequel to Journeys?
Davey Wavey
Yes, we are filming a sequel in January. Most of the actors will be different. It's going to be built around a different aspect of relationships: Jealousy.
so sweet, tender and beautiful, I love this movie and those men
Jerry R
This is excellent. I could feel and experience the connection with them. It’s all about becoming one together. I am looking forward to the rest of the series.
This was superb! I loved the chatter back and forth from these two. It truly is amazing how transformative an encounter can be when you add those little affirmations of love and thanks in.
Loved the video, and commentary by Finn Deerhart. He brings professional and informative knowledge to us all.
The Elements of Desire: Ray Dexter :D More of this handsome man please!
Davey Wavey
Yes, there are two more videos with Ray coming out! One in November and one in December. Stay tuned!
It was great. But I kind of wanted to see them continue to make love until climax.
Calvin Banks and Ray Dexter are so hot!
One of the great benefits of so many videos on this site is the element of talking to the sexual partner. Letting the other know what you want, how you’re feeling and how you want to be one with your partner is almost life changing—at least as far as our sexual life is concerned. My best sexual experiences have evolved from a deep connection, not just physically, but mentally. The feeling of a partner sliding into you is so enhanced when the mental bond is strong. Thank you for this wonderful site. You’re helping many of us older men reimagine our sexual life.

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