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Elements of Desire: License

Today, we're excited to bring the third of the four Elements of Desire: License.

According to sex and intimacy coach Finn Deerhart, creator of the Elements of Desire:

At times, we may move into our heads during sex, away from our bodies. In these moments, in order to continue, we depend on fantasies, outside validation, programmed images of sexiness, objectification, and goal oriented sex.

Male sexuality is often reduced and over simplified as a biological imperative to spread seed or to “get off.” This explanation does not acknowledge the relational components that are, the foundation, the underlying motivators for sex. The very nature of gay sex is antithetical to the biological model alone, because it is rooted in identity, a social construct. At the same time, as men, we often lack a vocabulary to describe our experiences of ourselves emotionally, sexually, and otherwise.

We may lean into routines, our “winning formulas,” compartmentalization, or even blaming our partners for a sense of boredom that we encounter. We may think that great sex is circumstantial-- and ideal body, an exciting setting, a fantasy realized. This all feels really great! It’s still sex. But it’s limiting sex. When we begin to let go of our conditioned templates, we access our innate senses of Eroticism. To begin this process, we notice inhibitions and consciously investigate them as routes to healing, and ultimately, ecstasy.

In our imaginations, sex and intimacy are often separate. However, sex, itself, is one of the most intimate expressions of our humanity--whether with a life partner, a total stranger, or anyone in between. The division that we perceive between intimacy and sex is not as much in what we do, as it is in how we imagine what we are doing.

In the Elements of Desire, each Element emphasizes a specific set of skills that build upon each other and can be experienced in layers. These skills are useful in creating an interpretive framework around what sex means to us, personally. Think of practicing these Elements like playing scales so that you can then play chords, so that you can compose beautiful music that emanates from the core of your being.

Concept created by Finn Deerhart: http://www.finndeerhart.com

recent comments:

perky

01/13/2020

The weaving of an instructional, narrative line into a hot encounter is brilliant, firing on both levels. Harder is so photogenic and when, as ordered, he says, "I'm a little whore," he was so hot.

Brent

01/16/2020

This is by far one of my all time favorites thus far. The right amount of assertiveness to really spin up the mood. Amazing job. I would love to see more like this !!!

Rhino445

01/18/2020

Why do such attractive men get ugly tattoos to camouflage their natural beauty?

bob

01/20/2020

This is super hot especially since it does not seem staged but "just" two hot passionate guys connecting deeply sexually. this is why Himeros is in a class by itself on a peak . Keep it up!

Wayne-Martin

03/04/2020

I love both these beautiful guys. Calvin is so hot in every way. Chris is too and I love Chris's deep baritone voice. Sit on my face, gag me with cock, and pound me all night!

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